Monday, November 24, 2008

Facing with the same Questions

Gee** (I like to write “gosh” but it’s corny to read!) but things seem coming back. “What is happening to me?” is the same question I am asking to myself for six years now. Headless chicken may I, but I can’t help myself thinking of what I am going to do with my life.

And it’s not really a joke. Being confronted by this very crucial question, it really disturbs me a lot. My work is affected. My relationship with my friends is affected. My attitude towards anything is affected. My life is affected. I am already 25 and I thought that things are gonna be okay; got a job, having graduate studies, been adventuring to new places and meeting new people, nice family and simple home. It seems everything is at good hands. What else can I ask for?

Well, the mystery lies in there. It seems that I wanted more, higher, bigger something. What is that something? When I was reading post in my simple six-year old journal, I already asked and even answered this question since then. What I noticed is that my answers are changing. New things came along and boom!... my mind changed. I am referring to the decision of what to do; my goal, my purpose, my life ahead!

Am I too insecure with my life? Am I neglecting my blessings that our dear Lord has given to me? Am I too ambitious? Or am I simply stupid?

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